90 Days Out

Today it really hit me how quickly Miss Delaware 2012 week is creeping up on me.  There are now 19 beautiful and incredible contestants competing for the title (big shout out to the newly crowned girls, especially my friends Renee Bull and Melissa Caltabiano!), and 90 days until one of us will be crowned! It's unreal to think that in less than 3 months I will be packing up my pageant necessities (about 4 suitcases) and heading to Dover Downs Hotel and Casino to have another chance at my dream. I figure now is as good of a time as any to write about why I decided to get involved in this program anyway!

My junior year of high school I started realizing how close college and adulthood were approaching. It was time to stop depending on my wonderful, loving, and supportive parents, and try to do something to help them out. I stopped by my friendly guidance counselor's office and picked up a book full of every scholarship available in the state of Delaware. I took 2 highlighter colors and highlighted the scholarships I was eligible for my junior year, and those I had to wait for senior year to apply for. Junior year my options were limited. I applied for The Challenge Program, a community service based one, and ended up receiving it for having the most community service hours in my high school. The second one involved much more effort than just an essay and transcript, but I was in no position to turn down an opportunity for scholarship money. The other highlighted opportunity was the Delaware's Junior Miss (Now Distinguished Young Women of Delaware Program), a scholarship opportunity which involves a talent portion, academics, self-expression, and physical fitness. I entered on a whim because of the incredible prize package, including personal training sessions, many scholarships to colleges around the country, and an expense paid trip to Mobile, Alabama for nationals. All told, I almost dropped out of the program the night before it began, ended up winning the self-expression category, and to my shock I was awarded the title of Delaware's Junior Miss 2010. At America's Junior Miss, I was humbled to win an interview award for placing in the top 5 interviews of the whole competition, and definitely met some of my bridesmaids (shout out to Hannah McMillan (NC), Katherine Voo (KS), and Alex Morgan (NY), love you girls). After Junior Miss and receiving about 19 more scholarships that I applied for (most based on academic merit), I had officially received enough scholarship money to pay for my undergraduate education at the University of Delaware. It feels amazing to be able to say my tuition is covered by my achievements and my dedication throughout high school, and I think my parents are pretty happy about that too.

I've never been the type to settle for anything. I don't just want to graduate college, it has always been my dream to go on to law school and set up my own practice. Please don't ask me what type of law I want to pursue, I wish I knew the answer! I have been extremely active on campus, joining an incredible group of young women in the Theta Gamma chapter of Alpha Xi Delta here at UD, studying abroad, being involved in Baptist Student Ministry, UDance, and many other activities. Living off campus and being in greek life have their costs though, and impending LSATS remind me how pricey law school will be in just a few short years. When I was first contacted and asked if I would like to compete in a local for Miss Delaware, I laughed it off, and said I was done being involved in scholarship pageants. Once I began to think about the scholarship money available, however, I changed my tune. Once I won Miss Sussex County, and headed off to Miss Delaware, I had received enough scholarship money to pay for my housing on campus. This year though, it occurred to me that there is so much more to being Miss Delaware than receiving money to further my education, and these aspects of Miss Delaware are much more valuable than any amount of prize money I could win.

I have developed my own reasons for competing this year that extend far and wide beyond scholarship money. In the 2 short years I have been involved with MDSO, I have grown into a much improved, more mature, poised, and confidant woman. I feel that these years have changed me in ways that no amount of classes or schoolwork ever could. I am more prepared for the real world, and more ready to face things independently, without calling my mom for help every single step of the way. This year making a change to my eating and exercise habits has been a huge part of making myself into the best Alyssa I can be. Last year at Miss Delaware I was in a size 6, which is by no means "fat" and I was fairly confident with myself. After watching the videos of myself in a swimsuit, I decided to try to improve upon myself. I didn't want to change for the judges, directors, audience, or anyone else but myself. This year my self-improvements have been just that, "self'-improvements. I realized that I was not living up to my full potential, and that I wasn't being my best self. I ditched the junk food, picked up some dumbbells, and found a new hobby and a new confidence in myself I have never encountered before. Now somewhere in the awkward void between a 0-2, I cannot believe the transformation I've seen in my looks, and my attitude. (Huge huge thank you to Marcellus Beasly, AKA Big Dog for helping me look and feel my best!)

I also ditched that little voice in my head telling me I couldn't ever achieve my dream of becoming Miss Delaware, and replaced it with a more encouraging thought process. Instead of saying "I'll never be as great at _____ as ______" I say to myself "Maybe if I work more on ______ I will be better at _____" or something to that effect. I now put things into perspective. I will never be anyone but Alyssa, but I'm really liking this Alyssa person now. 

I've heard attitude is half of the battle, and I think the other half must be faith. To put your future and your dreams in the hands of 5 judges who will only speak to you in person for 10 minutes before deciding your fate takes a lot of trust in the Big Guy upstairs. You hear it all the time, but it's so true. God has a plan for each and every one of us. God's plan may or may not be for me to be Miss Delaware, but I am so glad it was in his plan for me to become involved in this organization. I have met so many people who have forever touched my life, as mentors, as friends, and as sisters, and I have seen a change for the better in myself. Looking back on when I first entered the Miss Delaware Scholarship Organization, it's amazing for me to be able to see how much I have grown (and shrunk) as a person, and to feel my confidence soaring to new heights.

XOXOXOXO

Alyssa

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.